so, is masturbation normal? >> so masturbation or self love, or self pleasuring, has a couple of different names yes it's, it's normal for people to have feelings of loving themself or touching themself. at least from like a biological point of view, totally normative. although there are rare exceptions to that of course. some people's
![psychology of sex]()
psychology of sex, sexual orientation happens to be asexual. and they might not have any desire whatsoever to engage in self-love or self-touch, but on average across the globe, most humans engage in some sort of self-touch, unless the society, culture, religion. dictates otherwise and then they might not engage in that,
but in general there are lots of reasons why people masturbate, masturbate. it relieves sexual tension. it provides a venue for self exploration it can be a shared experience so people might engage in mutual masturbation either where they masturbate each other or they might just engage in self touch in front of each other. and it can people physically relax so it can relieve just physical pressure that someone might have or daily stress. one of the things i, i really recommend for people though is they should be masturbating in a way that's congruent with their own beliefs. and so, if it's something that makes them feel uncomfortable, then, then they should, you know, back off and figure out
another way to do things that might make them feel better. there are tons of techniques that people can use, from just using digital masturbation with their hands to toys to water to. you know, another partner so on and so forth. and so there's lots of different ways that people can masturbate, and they really just have to find one that, that is congruent with their own beliefs, and that they enjoy, and that's comfortable and healthy for them. >> so how can sexual behavior actually be used as a motivator? >> yeah, so i, definitely, there are motivations that people have for having sex. there are, in the united states, there's three primary reasons for having sex.
or, kind of, the motivation behind having sex. the first is for traditional or reproductive reasons. about 30% of u.s. americans really believe in this traditional reporductive framework. and what i mean by that is, they really think that the number one motivation for sex is to procreate, to have children. and typically that's within the confines of a, a monogamous relationship. typically one that's either domestic partnered or, or a marital relationship. so in terms of motivation about 30% of the time it has something to do with, with actual procreation and, and attempting to, to make children. the next big reason is typically a recreational reason or motivation about 25% of people in
the u.s are having sex for those reason. and it does tend to be more men than women. and recreationally means that in said in it's simplest way, if it feels good, it doesn't hurt anybody then let's do it. and and like i said that's about a quarter of the people and typically more men than women. and the final big motivator for sex or reason behind sex is a relational point of view and that's actually become the most common reason or motivator for sex. it's about 45% of the people in the united states. and this is this idea that sex ideally should be accompanied with strong feelings, or affection for someone, but not necessarily for procreation, not really for procreation, and not really only in
the confines of a monogamous or a partnered or a marital context and again, most people right now at least in the u.s view sex as being more of this relational viewpoint and that's the main motivation. so, i really like someone and i don't want to be married but i still want to be close with them and intimate with them. and so i'm going to have sex with them. that's, that's typically the most common motivation right now is really this kind of affectional or feeling based motivation for sex. >> so is there anything else people need to know about human sexuality? >> well, i think it's helpful for people to understand a couple of things around
sexuality, whether it's their motivations or a social component to sexuality and that is, what i always tell my students is that if you can't talk about sex, you probably shouldn't be having sex. and so if people can't engage in some sort of basic dialogue about their sexual wants, needs, experiences past practices, future practices, health, if there's a history of sexually transmitted infection or disease. if you can't have conversations about sex, you probably don't have much business engaging in it, at least not with someone other than yourself. so, that's really the biggest point that i think people, regardless of the lesson that we're giving them, that's really the biggest
lesson that they need to know around, human sexuality.
psychology of sex, sexual orientation happens to be asexual. and they might not have any desire whatsoever to engage in self-love or self-touch, but on average across the globe, most humans engage in some sort of self-touch, unless the society, culture, religion. dictates otherwise and then they might not engage in that,
but in general there are lots of reasons why people masturbate, masturbate. it relieves sexual tension. it provides a venue for self exploration it can be a shared experience so people might engage in mutual masturbation either where they masturbate each other or they might just engage in self touch in front of each other. and it can people physically relax so it can relieve just physical pressure that someone might have or daily stress. one of the things i, i really recommend for people though is they should be masturbating in a way that's congruent with their own beliefs. and so, if it's something that makes them feel uncomfortable, then, then they should, you know, back off and figure out
another way to do things that might make them feel better. there are tons of techniques that people can use, from just using digital masturbation with their hands to toys to water to. you know, another partner so on and so forth. and so there's lots of different ways that people can masturbate, and they really just have to find one that, that is congruent with their own beliefs, and that they enjoy, and that's comfortable and healthy for them. >> so how can sexual behavior actually be used as a motivator? >> yeah, so i, definitely, there are motivations that people have for having sex. there are, in the united states, there's three primary reasons for having sex.
or, kind of, the motivation behind having sex. the first is for traditional or reproductive reasons. about 30% of u.s. americans really believe in this traditional reporductive framework. and what i mean by that is, they really think that the number one motivation for sex is to procreate, to have children. and typically that's within the confines of a, a monogamous relationship. typically one that's either domestic partnered or, or a marital relationship. so in terms of motivation about 30% of the time it has something to do with, with actual procreation and, and attempting to, to make children. the next big reason is typically a recreational reason or motivation about 25% of people in
the u.s are having sex for those reason. and it does tend to be more men than women. and recreationally means that in said in it's simplest way, if it feels good, it doesn't hurt anybody then let's do it. and and like i said that's about a quarter of the people and typically more men than women. and the final big motivator for sex or reason behind sex is a relational point of view and that's actually become the most common reason or motivator for sex. it's about 45% of the people in the united states. and this is this idea that sex ideally should be accompanied with strong feelings, or affection for someone, but not necessarily for procreation, not really for procreation, and not really only in
the confines of a monogamous or a partnered or a marital context and again, most people right now at least in the u.s view sex as being more of this relational viewpoint and that's the main motivation. so, i really like someone and i don't want to be married but i still want to be close with them and intimate with them. and so i'm going to have sex with them. that's, that's typically the most common motivation right now is really this kind of affectional or feeling based motivation for sex. >> so is there anything else people need to know about human sexuality? >> well, i think it's helpful for people to understand a couple of things around
sexuality, whether it's their motivations or a social component to sexuality and that is, what i always tell my students is that if you can't talk about sex, you probably shouldn't be having sex. and so if people can't engage in some sort of basic dialogue about their sexual wants, needs, experiences past practices, future practices, health, if there's a history of sexually transmitted infection or disease. if you can't have conversations about sex, you probably don't have much business engaging in it, at least not with someone other than yourself. so, that's really the biggest point that i think people, regardless of the lesson that we're giving them, that's really the biggest
lesson that they need to know around, human sexuality.
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